Greed Breed Phylogenetics

Tormentors, are more common than mentors. They are the products of an evolutionary jump. These X-men are classified taxonomically as Homo cannibalis. They are stratospheric by ego, and statuspheric in language. Those who hold apex positions have been separately classified into two vigorous species called the Chairmanosaurus rex and the Velociraptor treasurorus. These are essentially septuagenarian and superannuated and cannot leave their chairs they hold. They have a covenant commitment with the chairs they hold called -- "Till-death-do-us-part."
     The males have the Saul-syndrome dominant allele found in the X Chromosome. And in women, who usurp the administrative control of their husbands, this allele produces the Jezebelase enzyme. This was first detected in the DNA analysis of the archaeological remains of an ancient breed of Saluki dogs. It was great puzzle to many of the scientists at that time as to how human DNA could have been found in the intestinal villi of these dogs. But collateral research in the Ancient Near East showed it to be the smashed remains of the wife of Ahab (2 Kings 9: 30 - 37). However, the gene that produces the Jezebelase enzyme is now more prolifically found in the urban zones today. The enzyme gives them superior skills in the science of shift-and-lift and swipe-and-hype (1 Kings 21).
     Now at the end of a dog's day, when you are dog tired it might be easy to say that the world has gone to dogs. But, its refreshing to know that are still processes and counter-currents that aim to make a healing difference. There is the Christian Business Mentor's Connection who work to mentor and bring healthy Biblical values into the marketplace. And then there is also the Mentor-link an organization that aims to provide a mentoring process of accountablity and spiritual growth among christian leaders.
     When they succeed in creating a new generation of leaders then there is sure to be hope. One thing is sure however, you cant teach an old dog new tricks.

Divine Spongiform Encephalopathy

The recent outbreak of Divine Spongiform Encephalopathy has completely mystified the Center for Disease Control in Atlaska. Though not widespread, each day new reports are pouring in from different quarters of the World. Scientists have been trying to trace the origin, and classify its symptoms so as to be able to distinguish it from the Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (commonly known as the Mad Cow Disease). After several clinical studies, these are facts that emerge:

• The etiology is similar to Kuru (disease caused by smaller than virus particles called prions) in Africa due to cannibalism. DSE is found esp in religious organizations, healthcare organizations, NGOs, churches and even corporates. As a result these leaders literally cannibalize their employees, placing them on starvation salaries and the feudalism of faith! 
• The disease is further amplified in those contexts were no clear rules of superannuation exist.
• Some eminent figures of the anti-globalization movements say that a test-tube culture of bio-terrorism leaked out. More reasoned evidence has proof that it is not Bio-terrorism but Bhaiya-terrorism (terrorizing your brother in the name of faith.)

Clinical Morphology:

• Mega-tabulitis: Preference of a large table, behind which to patronize employees. Also called Large Table Syndrome.
• Inflammatory Smearitis: Active engagement in smear campaigns against anybody who appears threatening to them (Thru long emails and prayer concerns). Clinical tests have shown large amounts of smearic acid in the blood plasma.
• Moronic Agglutinitis: Coagulative preference to be constantly surrounded only by those of less calibre. The result is the celebration of mediocrity and achievement of nothing.
• Acute Seatosis: A special cushioned chair in all meetings is sacramentally reserved for them. Even in a vehicle, siting in the placed reserved for them is tantamount to sacrilege.
• Minutes-metamorphoma: This is a carcinogenic metastatic stage in which board-minutes are always modified, by those with full-blown DSE, for political and monetary benefits.
• Bricks-without-straw-itis: The Pharoanic tendency to squeeze maximum work with no resources given.
• Paranoid Cubiculosis: This is a narrow form of vasculitis, in which being outside their cubicle of power gives them the heebie-jeebies. The result is that they are inaccessible to anyone.
• Merry-go-rounditis:  This is the nihilistic preoccupation with processes than results: everybody is having fun but nobody is going anywhere.
• Statistico-carcinoma: This is the inflated statistics of all year-end reports. This is further amplified by complications of Vision-Meetings of grandiose objectives in which nobody has a road-map. Sometimes the embellished vision-meeting faith statements are themselves taken as statistics for fund raising. This is an incurable and galloping type of carcinoma.
• Vile-regurgititis: In this symptom, everything vile (or bile as some pronounce it) is blamed on some scapegoat. It is the equivalent of vomiting on your neighbour after getting drunk. You wipe your mouth and look clean and your neighbour smells and looks dirty. In full-blown DSE, there is always an infection prone fall-guy. Fall-guys usually don't survive beyond their first or second year of infective victimization.
• Gorgioma: This is a tertiary stage syndrome, in which the leader gorges everybody's credits to himself or herself. This feature is characteristic of those approaching retirement. In agencies where there is no superannuation, this galloping carcinoma completely goes out of control. Usually this is accompanied by stingitis.
• Stingitis: Unwilling to release resources in directions where it is really needed or ethical.

If you meet any of these leaders, with DSE its ok to say Holy Cow!

Terror Alert!

The Chairmanosaurus rex, a species long known to be extinct has been discovered in the city of Kolkata. The first time this was discovered was in 1400 B. C. during the archaeological excavations of the Hyksos period, in Egypt. The next discovery was in Berlin, just after the II World War and the Nuremberg trials. Soon, living fossils were popping up everywhere. Now Kolkata too has this species clustered in places of power.

The taxonomic characteristics are unique enough to distinctly identify them as a separate species. These are some of its key features in identification:

1. They undergo a metamorphic change at around 65 years of age.
2. They have a biochemical intolerance to disagreement.
3. They are extremely allergic to people of superior calibre.
4. Rules do not bring any order into the ecosystem but are for the benefit of their own metabolic convenience.
5. They are phototropic with an extreme preference for being in the limelight.
6. Absence of a specific enzyme in the brain prevents them from comprehending any view but their own.
7. They have a glossolalic attribute of giving promises from the Scriptures but break their own promises repeatedly.
8. Their manic-depressive states alternates between domineering and manipulative.
9. They are anatomically embedded into all the offices they hold and no surgery can extricate them for a second line of leadership.
10. An unusual exudate that comes out from all the pores of their bodies, has now been clinically isolated and found to be composed entirely of lies.
11. They are layered on all sides by impenetrable scales, which are anatomically called "Flatterers".
12. These Flatterer Scales which surround them are symbionts which boost their ego while simultaneously drawing resources.

Denizens living in proximity to such creatures are advised to make sure that they do not get noticed. The best life in such ecosystems, is one that does not get noticed.

So if you want to live free, live quietly.