Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Terror Alert!

The Chairmanosaurus rex, a species long known to be extinct has been discovered in the city of Kolkata. The first time this was discovered was in 1400 B. C. during the archaeological excavations of the Hyksos period, in Egypt. The next discovery was in Berlin, just after the II World War and the Nuremberg trials. Soon, living fossils were popping up everywhere. Now Kolkata too has this species clustered in places of power.

The taxonomic characteristics are unique enough to distinctly identify them as a separate species. These are some of its key features in identification:
  1. They undergo a metamorphic change at around 65 years of age.
  2. They have a biochemical intolerance to disagreement.
  3. They are extremely allergic to people of superior calibre.
  4. Rules do not bring any order into the ecosystem but are for the benefit of their own metabolic convenience.
  5. They are phototropic with an extreme preference for being in the limelight.
  6. Absence of a specific enzyme in the brain prevents them from comprehending any view but their own.
  7. They have a glossolalic attribute of giving promises from the Scriptures but break their own promises repeatedly.
  8. Their manic-depressive states alternates between domineering and manipulative.
  9. They are anatomically embedded into all the offices they hold and no surgery can extricate them for a second line of leadership.
  10. An unusual exudate that comes out from all the pores of their bodies, has now been clinically isolated and found to be composed entirely of lies.
  11. They are layered on all sides by impenetrable scales, which are anatomically called "Flatterers".
  12. These Flatterer Scales which surround them are symbionts which boost their ego while simultaneously drawing resources.
Denizens living in proximity to such creatures are advised to make sure that they do not get noticed. The best life in such ecosystems, is one that does not get noticed.

So if you want to live free, live quietly.


Santanu said...

Clap Clap Clap clap clap........................ pastor very well-written very well put together the word of truth... But one observation I have made in my own forays into such ecosystem is this: The age of metamorphosis may sometimes be way earlier than 65 yrs.

Noel Prabhuraj said...

Agree, recent endemic studies have shown that metamorphosis is happening earlier that 65 years. Clinical analysis has indicated an enzyme-linked progeria precipitated by climate-change and global-warming!