Tuesday, January 20, 2015

7 Habits of Highly Defective People

The only curse of being a prophet is being under judgment from those who are under the judgment of God. So, here are a few observations from an image obsessed world.

These are observations about defective people. They seem to be the only people capable of worming themselves to apex positions! They have the right appearance, right words, right connections even right credentials but its all cosmetic. Here is what we can learn from them in this dog eat dog world:

1. Fire From Somebody's Shoulder:
Always fire a gun from somebody else's shoulder. In this way when things go wrong you have a fall guy and when things go right you can snatch the credit. Always keep a scapegoat ready for every circumstance preemptively.

2. Divide and rule:
Continue the historical legacy of the British East India Company on Indian soil. Only thing is that you do this now with your own Indian brothers and sisters. It doesn't matter if your organization or institution buckles: your coffers should bloat from both sides and no one should notice how you are siphoning institutional money. Siphoned finances should be used carefully for buying people. Those who cannot be bought with money buy them with institutional perks, promotions or with nothing more than public accolades! In simple language, have no allegiances except to your own self.

3. Build Facades:

Cover your personal insecurities by boasting and inflating yourself with lies or exaggerations. Reinforce this by surrounding yourself with sycophants of mediocre calibre and low-grade intelligence -- they will simply parrot whatever you tell them. At the Board level fawn with the right people, right gifts and right subservience so that nobody pays attention to your mismanagement. Build facades and brand position yourself so that your unproductive mediocre activities look like Machiavellian flourishes. Of course, it will be detrimental to the institution but it will be lucrative for you. After all, apna kaam banta, bhad mey jaaye janta!

4. Elevate Mediocrity:
Elevate mediocre people to positions where they are incompetent. Target those who are exceptionally good at work and are worthy for promotion. Sideline such people. Use their sincerity to get work done and take credit. Swipe and hype, especially when you lack originality. And if things go wrong shuffle blame. Fill your organization or institution with yes-men. Terminate questioners. Remember end justifies means, as long as the end is yourself and the means is other people. Essentially, celebrate and reward mediocrity.

5. Self-deify:
Be obsessed with self-importance. Never tolerate even the slightest slight on you or your coterie or family, even if it is accidental. React with swift viciousness on the offenders. Cow everybody to submission. Put down people to constantly show how superior you are (even if you are not, and especially if you are not).

6. Be Eternal:
Fudge your birth records. Find out mechanisms and means to continue receiving your pay cheques even after superannuation. Create or modify rules and bye-laws for this purpose. Start a new branch for your company which is promising but unproductive (it all lies in the packaging). In simple words, never retire. Make sure there is no expiry date on your service or age. Become a Patron or the President Emeritus or any self-deifying title to continue receiving a sizable honorarium or perks or benefits and also to continue meddling with the company.

7. Pendulum Behaviour:

Always make decisions out of pride or out of panic. Never put your organization or the welfare of others in the fore-front. Constantly make decisions that boost your pride and inflate your ego. When things go wrong and out of control then make decisions out of panic. Consult a million people in panic. Take their million suggestions, and implement a decision that will amplify your own detriment. In this way you can come down as fast as you went up.

​"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom ​or the strong man boast of his strength ​or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: ​that he understands and knows me, ​that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, ​justice and righteousness on earth, ​for in these I delight."
Jeremiah 9: 23-24

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